Good Inside vs Love and Logic

You're the mom and you see this↑. Which response suits you better? (no right answer)

A. Say "I won't let you do that," remove him from the situation and empathize with his frustration.

B. Say "Uh Oh! That's too bad. It looks like you'll need to clean that up before breakfast." 

As a parent I am always evolving. A few months ago I was singing the praises of the wonderful parenting platform/technique called Good Inside. I learned so much from this and will continue to use much of what I learned for the rest of my life. But there was one thing in that technique that didn't feel right to me, and for that reason I am returning to my Love and Logic roots. If you are looking for some parenting help, here's a quick rundown of both techniques. Of course, everyone has their own internal compass and I encourage you to follow yours as you figure out what works best for your family!

Good Inside

• My experience: I paid for a subscription to this platform for about 3 months ($28/month) and it helped me so much!
• The website makes it so easy to find just the technique I need for a certain situation and watch a quick video to learn it. I loved that I didn't need to read a book to learn the techniques.
• I love the printable scripts they offer.
• The community support was amazing! I could ask any question and get support from a coach and other parents within minutes. 
• I love the foundational belief that all children regardless of behavior, are "good inside." I also love the emphasis on letting our kids know that we will love them even when they make bad choices.
• I love the emphasis on empathy and holding boundaries.
• I love feeling like I had on on-call child psychologist to answer any question I needed.
• Cons: I may have misunderstood, but I believe this technique does not recommend consequences (although it absolutely is big on boundaries). I tried this for a few months, but I always felt confused and unsettled when one of my kids would literally bite the other one and there was no consequence for it (besides separating them). It didn't seem fair to the kid that got bitten. Or when one of my kids would lock me out of the house and there was no consequence. It didn't seem like I was respecting myself as a parent.

Love and Logic

• My experience: I took an all-day course on Love and Logic several years ago for my work. I am also reading Parenting with Love and Logic  ($5 on Abe Books) right now.
• I'm so big on choice and accountability, and Love and Logic is too! Natural consequences given in a loving, empathetic way are at the core of Love and Logic.
• When I use Love and Logic, I feel like I'm more respected by my kids than when I use other methods. And I think it's pretty important that we teach the rising generation to respect their elders.
• It helps me feel like I'm teaching my kids to be responsible, self-respecting humans, without sacrificing our relationship in any way.

This is just my experience and my own internal compass. If you have had a different experience, I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Jessica Heath, Occupational Therapist MOTR/L